I like James' idea for letters to his old classmates. Except reading made me think that he was writing to someone who'd died or killed themselves. I don't know about writing letters to my old classmates, even ones they won't read. For one thing, I'm not that secure. For another thing I don't really have anything to say. If I wrote a letter it would suffice for it to be an open letter to old classmates in general. It might read:

I like following your updates on facebook. It allows me to know that we are all still out there doing stuff, but requires no actual effort or contact, 'cause who knows what we'd really have to say to one another anyway. I look at your pictures and am secretly jealous when they are of your trips to foriegn countries or raucous parties you have attended with your many, happy looking friends. But then I think that I too am well traveled. Quite possibly better than you. Then I think maybe I should post all my travel pics so that you might look at them, and not think I'm boring. Think that I've actually accomplished things. But then I never get around to it. I try to find pictures of me at wild parties surrounded by friends, but realize that they are few and far between.
I am heartened by the fact that many of you are working abroad or living in exciting sounding cities. That some of you even seem to have high-powered, well paying jobs like the folks on tv. The type of jobs that you never really seem to know anyone who actually has one. I think wall street workers and hedge fund managers are only allowed to know or socialize with one another.
I wish I would have gotten to know you better in school, but I was very shy and never sure how to go about it, and you probably wouldn't have wanted to hang out with me anyway. Or maybe you would have. It turns out I'm actually pretty cool, when you get to know me. If I had ever felt good enough about myself to just walk up and hang out with you, I would have shocked you with my epic coolness and entertainingness. Yeah, we probably could have been friends in real life, but now we can just be friends on facebook and forget all we used to know.


Yeah. That would probably suffice. If we start going back to elementary school I just have too many classmates. I attended 4 elementary schools. I suppose this means it's something I should think harder about, since I have forgotten so many of those people.

Back in Blog

It's fall here, and it actually feels like fall. The sunsets are all honey and amber. The leaves are damp and heavy on the ground. The air smells of fire and dew. I can't believe it's been two months now since Noah was born. It actually feels more like an eternity. I can't really remember what it was like not to have him, just the vague memory of a time when I could do pretty much anything at anytime with no set plans, even not come home , if I wanted. I probably should have taken more advantage of it. But I don't mind it. He's my bud. He really is the cutest baby ever. Just check out my faceb0ok album if you don't believe me. I'm excited for the time when I can read books to him and he'll actually understand me. For when he can talk, and crawl.
Living back at home again. It has advantages: no bills, help with the baby almost every evening, never ending baby advice. But I definitely feel the need for my own space, for a routine and a lifestyle I can make and call my own.
And now, all of the sudden, I really want a career. Not just a job, not just benefits and a salary (which I do desperately need), but a career. Something with job satisfaction, promotion potential, co-workers, and an office softball team (I've never played softball in my life). Sure, I still wouldn't want to settle for a cubicle job, a coffee machine in the break room and the relief of the 5 0'clock bell, but I'd like to believe (and actually am starting to harbor the distinct possibility) that there is something better to be had. Something better that I could have.