Sunday, October 26, 2008

Back in Blog

It's fall here, and it actually feels like fall. The sunsets are all honey and amber. The leaves are damp and heavy on the ground. The air smells of fire and dew. I can't believe it's been two months now since Noah was born. It actually feels more like an eternity. I can't really remember what it was like not to have him, just the vague memory of a time when I could do pretty much anything at anytime with no set plans, even not come home , if I wanted. I probably should have taken more advantage of it. But I don't mind it. He's my bud. He really is the cutest baby ever. Just check out my faceb0ok album if you don't believe me. I'm excited for the time when I can read books to him and he'll actually understand me. For when he can talk, and crawl.
Living back at home again. It has advantages: no bills, help with the baby almost every evening, never ending baby advice. But I definitely feel the need for my own space, for a routine and a lifestyle I can make and call my own.
And now, all of the sudden, I really want a career. Not just a job, not just benefits and a salary (which I do desperately need), but a career. Something with job satisfaction, promotion potential, co-workers, and an office softball team (I've never played softball in my life). Sure, I still wouldn't want to settle for a cubicle job, a coffee machine in the break room and the relief of the 5 0'clock bell, but I'd like to believe (and actually am starting to harbor the distinct possibility) that there is something better to be had. Something better that I could have.

1 comment:

James said...

i just now saw that you commented on a previous entry. if i had read that before, i might've written a little more on your facebook wall. anyway, i didn't mean to bring you down with "i don't check the weather." i've been in a better mood now that the sun has been out again, and seattle's got color everywhere. i forgot how much the weather affects my mood.

but anyway, i really don't see you changing the cat litter and throwing dryer sheets in the dryer. you're smart and passionate, and i'm sure you'll be able to find something you enjoy doing eventually.

it's just taking some of us longer than others. and maybe it's just the orange and red leaves falling down all around me, but for now, i'm okay with it.