There's no place like home

Well, I just got back from my 4 day weekend in Michigan. It was really a whirlwind tour of obligatory family visits to show off the belly before the baby’s born. I got in at about 7:45 am, had breakfast with my Dad at the glorious Cracker Barrel, and then got the tour of the all the home improvements he’s been working on. He insisted I take my one pancake and fried egg in a to go box because he keeps to food at his house. He says he thinks there are spiders living in his oven now. It’s sad. Last time I stayed with him I had to buy a pot, because there was seriously nothing to cook spaghetti in.

He took me around to the neighbors and showed off his knocked up daughter and imminent grandson. Then we picked up his pseudo x-girlfriend, her son (now 17), and my grandfather to go out to my Uncle’s 4th of July lake party. My grandfather is pushing 90, and he was looking schnazzy. He had on his black dress shoes, pressed grey slacks with a nice belt buckle, a bright blue t shirt under a bright yellow polyester button up short sleeve shirt, and don’t forget the tortoise shell sunglasses. I made him pose for pictures. He complained to my father that I was forcing him to smile. I sat with him a lot at the party, (we were there for 8 + hours), and hey, who else is the old guy and the pregnant chick going to hang out with? I got him buffet food and he told me about his 20+ years working for Ford, after he got out of the military. He seemed to be pretty ok with just chilling by himself. He really enjoyed watching the little kids play and knock each other about, and watching the boats and ducks go by. He kept pointing out the cloud formations and telling me how long it took specific clouds to move between landmarks. My dad says he does that a lot. He thinks it’s because my grandfather recently had cataract surgery so he could keep his license, and he probably couldn’t see the clouds before. All the same I was glad that my Dad’s friends took turns talking to him and bringing him lemonade and moving to him into the shade. My step-cousin, Drew, got to be on deep fryer duty. He had to deep fry 52 lbs of chicken for the party. That’s a lot of fried chicken. I played Frisbee some with James (the 17 year old) and a bunch of little kids who trickled over to us. It was actually fun, and I got to run around and get some exercise. As usual my Uncle had so many people to greet and talk to that we barely spoke 5 words, but we don’t have a lot to talk about anyway. I’m knocked up and single, which makes me the black sheep. But he did give me several real hugs, and even kissed me on the head, not something he’s prone to do, that pretty much summed it up. And at this party full of family friends who’ve known me since I was born, or there abouts, it was particularly rubbed-in by the fact that my younger sister and her long term boyfriend just got engaged last week. Sweet. So, now not only am I the knocked up one who had to move back home, but I’m also the only single one of my sisters, and living in sin.
My Dad congratulated me on my courage to come out in public like this and meet and talk to everyone. Way to make me self –conscious. But I don’t really care, I don’t think most of them judge me, and if they do, fuck ‘em. This is the miracle if life here. Before he said that I had really only thought about it vaguely. I mean in this day and age unplanned, single pregnancy doesn’t necessarily make you a social pariah, right? And anyway it’s not like anyone was going to have the balls to lecture me or shun me about it. Most people are just excited about the prospect of a baby, and a little pissed at the fact that I’ve gained so much less weight than they did.
Then we got up early the next morning to head up to the illustrious Traverse City, Mi, on the firs day of the world-renowned Cherry Festival. We watched the air show and ate ice cream. Then we headed out to my grandfather’s cabin to stay with him and his relatively new wife, Ellie. I will never understand territorial women. Why there are these women out there who think that when they come into a new family they have to/ can change anything and everything, and have to try to control the family dynamic. In this case, a family dynamic that’s been going on for the past 30 years. My grandmother is probably rolling in her grave. Ellie was just plain rude to my father, scolded him like he was 5 about stupid stuff and she gets really upset if she can’t hear you, but won’t ask you to speak up because she refuses to admit she’s half deaf. She thinks you’re talking muffled on purpose, I think. Then she refused to let my little sister and her fiancé come out for dinner because they hadn’t called sufficiently ahead of time. When we met them for after church brunch instead she acted like she had no idea my sister was coming, insisted it created a problem to have 2 more people in our party of 10, and wouldn’t let my grandfather sit with us at a separate table. I could tell my grandfather could see how uncomfortable the situation was and how inflexible and rude Ellie was being, but he wasn’t going to say a thing about it. Ellie didn’t introduce us to her friends or cousins or even acknowledge our existence the rest of the time we were there. Which was really pretty great for the rest of us. I just don’t women who act that way, and men who marry them and just conform to their ridiculous ways. It shows a lack of character to me.

But what do I know, I’ve never been married.