I’m jealous of James’ ability to get rid of everything and pick up and move back to Seattle, no job, no specific plan. That’s how I used to live. I should have taken more advantage of it.
When I first found out I was pregnant, after I bawled for half an hour, my first thought was to not tell anyone, and just pick up and move somewhere, start over fresh where nobody knew me. It just wasn’t feasible since I had just started taking courses at VCU, I had just signed a year lease, and I had about $400 in my bank account. But for a straight month that was my main fantasy. I pictured myself in some small to mid size town, in a house with a porch and a fence and my dog and my son. Taking walks in the sunshine to the farmer’s market and working a flexible part time job to pay my undoubtedly minimal bills. It’s still a fantasy. But of course, pregnancy wasn’t something I could hide for long, and now I am living back at home and pretty dependent on the kindness of family. I really appreciate all their support and help but sometimes I still feel stifled. I still want to move away and have my own space and my own life. For a while I even researched intentional communities and hippie co-ops that might take a pregnant chick and a dog. There aren’t quite as many as you might think. The dog was the bigger obstacle. I thought hippies liked animals…
Anyway, now I have the next couple months to formulate at least a 5 year plan. Grad school, law enforcement academy, any job to pay the bills, a career in my undergrad field (ecology), if I can find one? Where should I live? Can I really handle the long term 9-5? I already know that cubicle jobs consume my soul more quickly than I can eat a chocolate bar these days. I truly hate it. And I have to admit that I do see most jobs/ careers as pointless time sucks that kill your ability to pursue a real life, while you prop up somebody else’s record profits. But, hey, isn’t that what mothers do? Sacrifice for the next generation. I certainly have lived off the backs of my cubicle dwelling parents. I can’t imagine how my mom managed to do it, continues to do it. Is the security of a mediocre health plan and a regular paycheck really worth it? It would be sweet if we all started out equal, or if there was at least a baseline. Everybody gets a financial package at birth, or at 18 or something. Here’s $100,000 to get you started, what you do with it, success or failure is up to you. I’d use mine to build a self-sufficient, apocalypse-ready compound somewhere sweet, - with fainting goats. Or if this country at least had free college education. Some places, like Denmark, you can go to school free for as long as you want. Be a lifer. Denmark is the happiest country, you know.
Anyway, I guess what I’m looking for is a good job. Relatively meaningful, flexible, working for good people, preferably locally owned. The kind of place with fun, smart co-workers. The kind of place with a sense of humor, where going to work isn’t a tortuous daily task. It doesn’t even need to pay a whole lot. So if you know anybody/ any place that’s hiring….
I have to admit that, even for all the Red Cross bureaucratic crap, and limitations, and downtime it wasn’t all that bad because we had a good Americorps team. We were all pretty fun to hang out with, I think. It was just a shame that we weren’t really allowed to do it, and our interaction was always being watched, reported on, and limited, like we might be conspiring in a prison escape attempt. But we still had some fun.
So, somebody out there, give me some direction?
When I first found out I was pregnant, after I bawled for half an hour, my first thought was to not tell anyone, and just pick up and move somewhere, start over fresh where nobody knew me. It just wasn’t feasible since I had just started taking courses at VCU, I had just signed a year lease, and I had about $400 in my bank account. But for a straight month that was my main fantasy. I pictured myself in some small to mid size town, in a house with a porch and a fence and my dog and my son. Taking walks in the sunshine to the farmer’s market and working a flexible part time job to pay my undoubtedly minimal bills. It’s still a fantasy. But of course, pregnancy wasn’t something I could hide for long, and now I am living back at home and pretty dependent on the kindness of family. I really appreciate all their support and help but sometimes I still feel stifled. I still want to move away and have my own space and my own life. For a while I even researched intentional communities and hippie co-ops that might take a pregnant chick and a dog. There aren’t quite as many as you might think. The dog was the bigger obstacle. I thought hippies liked animals…
Anyway, now I have the next couple months to formulate at least a 5 year plan. Grad school, law enforcement academy, any job to pay the bills, a career in my undergrad field (ecology), if I can find one? Where should I live? Can I really handle the long term 9-5? I already know that cubicle jobs consume my soul more quickly than I can eat a chocolate bar these days. I truly hate it. And I have to admit that I do see most jobs/ careers as pointless time sucks that kill your ability to pursue a real life, while you prop up somebody else’s record profits. But, hey, isn’t that what mothers do? Sacrifice for the next generation. I certainly have lived off the backs of my cubicle dwelling parents. I can’t imagine how my mom managed to do it, continues to do it. Is the security of a mediocre health plan and a regular paycheck really worth it? It would be sweet if we all started out equal, or if there was at least a baseline. Everybody gets a financial package at birth, or at 18 or something. Here’s $100,000 to get you started, what you do with it, success or failure is up to you. I’d use mine to build a self-sufficient, apocalypse-ready compound somewhere sweet, - with fainting goats. Or if this country at least had free college education. Some places, like Denmark, you can go to school free for as long as you want. Be a lifer. Denmark is the happiest country, you know.
Anyway, I guess what I’m looking for is a good job. Relatively meaningful, flexible, working for good people, preferably locally owned. The kind of place with fun, smart co-workers. The kind of place with a sense of humor, where going to work isn’t a tortuous daily task. It doesn’t even need to pay a whole lot. So if you know anybody/ any place that’s hiring….
I have to admit that, even for all the Red Cross bureaucratic crap, and limitations, and downtime it wasn’t all that bad because we had a good Americorps team. We were all pretty fun to hang out with, I think. It was just a shame that we weren’t really allowed to do it, and our interaction was always being watched, reported on, and limited, like we might be conspiring in a prison escape attempt. But we still had some fun.
So, somebody out there, give me some direction?
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